a little tweaking

People keep asking me if it's been hard to adjust to being home, and at first, it wasn't. I'd get asked that question, and I was just so excited to be home that I could easily answer no, that it wasn't so bad--that I was doing fine and loving being home. And, I am doing fine, and I am loving being home. I love being with my family. And, I really really do...I love it. I love being in the country again where everything is so quiet. Right now, I am sitting on our back porch in the quiet, watching the birds, hearing only their little chirps. I told Mom the other day: ya' know, you just don't appreciate the quiet country until you've lived in the city.

I mean, Baton Rouge can be a little noisy at times, but Valparaíso seemed louder. Particularly in my bedroom. Dogs were always barking, and I could always hear the neighbors if they were at all speaking above a whisper. And, they always were. Chileans can be loud. I'm not criticizing--I love their colorful, loud culture. Anyway, take a bunch of barking dogs, loud Chileans and houses that are built practically on top of each other, and it's just noisy.

Anyway, adjusting to home...it has been hard at times. It was one of those things that I didn't even realize was happening. A reality didn't hit me. I didn't wake up and realize that I was in America and not in Chile anymore. It was something that sneeked up on me. I didn't realize it was happening. I just got sad, overwhelmingly. I felt like I was withdrawing. Chileans can be very indifferent and distant at times. It's one thing that drove me crazy about them. But, I felt like I was doing that very thing. I felt like I was detaching myself and withdrawing.

But, God is always beside me, thank goodness. And, His Word wakes me up and sets me free. The scripture always pulls me out of sadness or depression. Romans 12:2 always speaks to my heart. "Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." It's like a puff of oxygen in the face that makes me inhale and fill my lungs with air again.

I was reminded of Proverbs 3, and it encouraged me a lot. I like to hold on to it all day. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." My memory is really terrible, so I am so thankful He gave us His Word. I am so thankful that he remembers that I am weak, and I need reminding.

I was comforted by the words of Luke 12:32. "Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom." I am one of those weak, little sheep, but I am a part of that flock that belongs to the King. I was comforted and humbled and so so thankful that He is my King.

I've been going to the woods with my dad a lot. I love being with my dad. And, I love being able to sit and be. I love sitting in the quiet and watching the sunset and not having to think of anything to say. Just being.

The woods are so beautiful and peaceful. So, I took some pics. :)

Since I've been home, I have been able to spend time with my best friend, Courtney. And, I've missed her so much. I'm looking forward to living with her again. I love her like a sister. I've never had a sister, but she's about as close as it comes.
I visited my dear friend, Jess in Shreveport the other day. She lives in Boston now, but she and her husband came home for Christmas to be with their family. I am so thankful that God gave us the opportunity to spend some time together. She's seen me at some tough times, and she has always been a friend through the thick and thin. God has really used her in my life. And, it's such a blessing to see a friend who lives so far away.
New Year's Eve was a really great day. New Year's Eve morning, I went on a 30 mile bike ride--my first ride since being home. I bucked a head wind the whole time, but it was a great ride. Nothing like waking you up than 30 miles with the wind in your face. As the pristine sky that graced me the whole bike ride began to cloud over, my dad and I canoed on the Boeuf River to the deer stand. Canoeing is the most peaceful thing. Well, my dad was doing all the work by paddling while I was sitting at the front. haha, so it really wasn't fair, but we only had one paddle. In the stand, the night fell as we watched some bucks that were way too far away. As we canoed back in the dark, some sprinkles fell and threatened rain (which never came). I thought, This is the best day.

Still adjusting and being reminded of His grace, I say chao from the back porch.

Love,
Sophie

"A New Day at Midnight" --David Gray

home

I'm home now and enjoying being with my family. :) Sometimes, I can't believe that only a few weeks ago I was sitting on the beach in Chile. I miss that mountainous, coastal country that I called home for 5 months. If I think about it too much, I get sad. But, I knew this would happen, so after finals, I spent my last 2 weeks soaking up Chile.

Las Docas beach 

I went to the beach almost everyday. There are lots of beaches not too far from Valpo, so we'd wake up and catch a bus to a beach somewhere. I would sleep, read, sketch, and the only dilemma was whether or not to play frisbee or take another nap.

Sara and I found this little fishing village about 2 hours away called Horcón, known for it's fresh seafood and hippies. We dug our toes in the sand and listened to the waves crash.

Horcón:

La playa en Reñaca:

 

When I wasn't at the beach, I was on the third floor of a hundred year hotel that's home to a bunch of art studios. I met a lady named María Fernanda who taught me how to paint. We mixed oil paints, drank tea and listened to Cuban music. I could have lived in her art studio surrounded by all the painted canvases and big windows. We would just talk for hours while we painted and she'd tell me about when she lived in México, what kind of music we like, and where we want to travel. She asked me about where I'm from and my family, and she told me about her kids and her family. I almost cried when I told her bye. I miss her. She's one of the most loving people I've ever met. Her heart just evelopes you when she hugs you.

I really dropped the ball on writing in my blog, so I need to catch up on what I left out. I ran a 1/2 marathon at the end of October...

I turned 22, and my family had a party for me. It was so fun, and Rosa made a cake with some loud icing. They even decorated the house. What a great family. :)

 

I would go on long walks through my cerro on Sundays. Here are pics from my walks through my neighborhood in the hills...

 

 The view of Valparaíso from my neighborhood...

 

Garden party on the sidewalk

An art exhibition at the foot of my hill where artists painted for 11 hours on 11/11/11...

Before

After

Other wanderings...

A concert in Plaza Sotomayor

 We went to a Chile vs. Paraguay soccer game in Santiago. Chile won 2-0. CHI-CHI-CHI-LE-LE-LE!!!

 More art on the walls...

Musician on a loft in a pub...

Wishing my camera would take pictures in dim lighting..

Found a cat in a bar...

 

...while we listened to a Cuban band...(I guess Cuban music is popular in Chile.)

 I miss the beaches, I miss María, I miss my Chilean family, my friends...I miss Chile. But, I'm glad to be home with my family. But, I'm gonna have to say goodnight because I think I'm going to the woods in the morning with my dad. It's good to be home where my closest neighbor is a 1/4 mile away. It's just good to be home.

missing now, what I will miss

Come and listen, come to the water's edge, all you who know and fear the Lord. Come and listen, come to the water's edge all you who are thirsty, come.

Let me tell you what He has done for me. Let me tell you what He has done for me, He has done for you, He has done for us.
 
I'm already preparing for final exams and projects, the end just seems to be coming so fast. Sometimes I feel like I got here yesterday and sometimes I feel like I've been living here a year.

I've noticed that when I'm walking down my hill in the mornings, the same store owner greets me. The collectivo drivers recognize me now, and they don't ask me where to drop me off anymore. I notice when the specials change at the café on the corner. I notice when the woman with all the plants has planted new ones.

I will miss walking down la calle Urriola to the street with all the banks (la Calle de los Bancos). The buildings are so tall they block the sun, and it's always colder from the shade.
I will miss the salty spray when I run by the ocean. Gosh, I will miss my runs here so much...

I miss home too...

I can't wait to walk out in the woods with my dad and hear the crunch of frosty leaves. I can't wait to watch the sunset in the deer stand. I know when I'm watching the sunset over the ocean, I'm wondering what it looks like in the woods. And, I know when I'm sitting in the woods, I will wonder what it looks like over the ocean.

This campus made me think of LSU... (Universidad Frederico Santa María, Valparaíso)

Rosa was cooking something this morning that reminded me of Ms. Helen's deer steak she always made growing up.  Which made me miss a whole list of foods...Mom's rolls, her apple crisp pie...my dad's gumbo and the way he cooks duck and dove.

I can't believe it will be Christmas time when I get home. The coffee mug I use in the mornings has a Christmas tree, lights and presents on it. It's my favorite because it reminds of home.


I can't wait to smell pine needles, ride my bike in the country, drink eggnog, drink coffee with my mom, see my Uncle John and my grandmother...

<< Everything was so green in Puerto Varas, it made me think of Louisiana.

(<< Driving through the countryside in Puerto Varas.)

I miss my brothers so much. I was telling someone the other day that when we were kids, we had this huge rope swing by the creek, and Noah, Bails and I would play on it for hours. We would take one of my dad's ladders from the shed and carry it out to the creek to use it as a platform to make the swing go higher. Clearly, safety was the first priority. I just love them so much, and I can't wait to hug them.

I don't want to say goodbye to Chile yet though. Sometimes, I take the long way home just to walk by all my favorite streets. I love the smell of fresh bread when I walk by a panadería. I will miss the huge golden raisins I buy from the mercado. I will miss eating avocados every day. I will miss watching people paint murals. Sometimes I run longer just to go sit on the rocks by the ocean.






This morning, I was reading Psalms 66, and I was encouraged, humbled and basically thought it was awesome, so I just wanted to share it.

"He turned the sea into dry land, they passed through the waters on foot--come, let us rejoice in him...we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance. Come and listen, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me. 
...but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer. Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!"

Psalm 66

ok, chao for now..off to the water's edge to study.

mucho MUCH, a-whole-bunch, grande love,
sophie

hot like lava

 At the edge of consciousness...where the lines they start to fade...where the spirit goes undressed...of all malice and brocade...

Sometimes, I don't handle things well...last week, I reached a tipping point. Frustrated with how hard things are sometimes, frustrated with professors, angry at reckless taxi drivers...everything seemed to be piling on top of me.


Our flight to the south to Puerto Varas (Northern part of the Patagonia) was almost cancelled due to volcanic ash in the air from Volcano Puyehue. Well, actually, we thought it was cancelled, but it wasn't. And, we missed our flight.

So, after I yelled at a taxi driver, cried because we missed our flight, and had a meltdown, we packed  our bags in a hurry and rushed to Santiago to catch a later flight that we weren't even sure we would be able to get on. We waited on standby, and against all odds, there was space.

Sometimes, I don't understand why things are so hard...and then, other times, I don't understand why things work out. That shows how much I don't know.
As I sat on the plane, I was so humbled. You know those moments when you shake you head at your own ridiculousness? I don't know, maybe I do that more than most people. I thought, There are worse things than missing a flight. Would I have chosen to be thankful anyway even if things didn't work out?, shaking my head at the answer I knew was true.

Well, everyday in the lakes region of the northern Patagonia was phenomenal. Everything was so green. I just wanted to gather all the green hills and trees in my arms and take them with me.

 Gulf of Ancud in Chiloé.

Petrohué River waterfalls....

There was a lot of yellow too...

The town of Ancud on the lakes, full of churches, hills, and everything green.

In front of our hostel where we stayed in Puerto Varas...

 goodmorning, hostel...goodmorning, green tea...

we met some llamas...

we went up into the clouds....













Climbed a volcano.

We went rafting, visited the German settlements (Southern Chile has a huge German influence with German settlements sprinkled all around), drank German beer, and drank in the mountains, volcanoes, rivers, the green, the waterfalls...all of it.

Gah, I loved it so much.

Some things are hard and some things are beautiful. Sometimes they're both. My dad tells me, "Sweety, that's life." true, true, so true.

At the edges, silvery edges...where the mirror, it bends and stretches...Past the edges of this world...where the waters crash and curl...

I always thought the more I see, the more I do, the more I learn, the more I would know. But, I only realize how much smaller I am, how little I know, and how much more I have to learn, how much more God has to teach me.

I'm not even graceful, I don't have everything together. If it ever appears that way, I am kidding myself. It seems like sometimes all I can handle, all that I can process is, "Cling to what is good..." (Rom 12:9) And, I just say it over and over.

crashing, curling, clinging, clinging, clinging,

Sophie

P.S. If you see my mom, give her a hug. I'm going to be 22 years old in less than a week, and I still call my mom crying. She deserves a medal for being my mom. She listens to me cry when I'm stubborn and inconsolable, and she's so patient.